Facebook

Well I am beginning to hate facebook, or maybe at least some of my friends on there. When people have a problem with my status and they go tell my husband something totally off the wall, it causes us to have an arguement. Really if you dont like what my status says they tell me or just ignore it.

The last status I had said " been really busy and still has more work to do" there is nothing wrong with that, but someone told my husband that it said that and that it also said something about him not helping, CRAP!

I have a facebook to keep in touch with some people, I have been thinking that maybe I should delete everyone that I have a relationship with on the real world and the ones that I dont keep them as friends.

Other then all that, I have been really busy getting things in order for Thanksgiving and having Nana stay at my house with me. YAY! So I have been cleaning the middle room and the back bathroom and all of the other house that she will see.

I have had a great time spending time with the family that came in from out of town. We have taken the kids to the park and to DD's so they could have a tea party. They have had a blast together. Jaden wont stop talking about how much fun she has had with her friends(cousins)!

I have been having a little trouble cleaning my sister-in-laws house while she has guest. But I am doing what I can, I feel horrible that I didnt make it today but I really had a lot on my plate that I couldnt afford to go down there, I have to much stuff at my house to get done. Hopefully after the holidays it will get better, or at least after Thanksgiving!

Sorry Mimi!

Cant wait until Black friday! Going to get up early in the morning and head to the store to christmas shop!!!!

Maybe get starbucks!

Cant wait to stuff my face with food!!!

The Power of Prayer

The Power of Prayer is the most amazing feeling in the world. I have been praying that the Lord would guide me and show me the light through the dark road I have been on since my miscarriage. My heart aches at the sight of pregnant woman and hearing about someone getting pregnant. So I have been praying for months and every time I continue to pray I hear God telling me, that I need to think back to the message a very special man gave at the campsite, about waiting on the Lord but while waiting not to be idle. Well I have been thinking a lot about it, wondering what he meant about not being idle, well I have been told by God that it means that I need to continue on my path and do the things I was doing before the miscarriage, I do have a wonderful daughter, that is my world and I would do anything to make her happy. I am going to cherish the moments I have with her until God chooses when to bless me with another child. I also know that God will bless me, because He wants us to multiply. Why wold He say that and not bless us. He is waiting for us to be patient and give it all to Him, He know when the time is right, we dont!

So as I pray, I will be asking the Lord to guide me and show me what He wants me to do. I am open and ready for whatever the Lord wants me to do.

I just want to thank David for his wonderful message at the First Fire.

MENSTRUAL CYCLE

I hate them more than anything!

I want to be pregnant, so that means no more for 9months..LOL!

I pray that the Lord blessing me and my hubby with a child. I know He is faithful and will answer my prayers, I just need to be patient and I believe that is what God is waiting for me to do, is just be patient because He will answer my prayers. I will be patient and wait but while I wait I am not going to be IDLE!

I am going to be signing up for school in about a month, and I am so excited, I am probably going to be a radiolgist(xray tech) or hair and makeup! I have really thought about being a teacher but I dont think that I would be good at that.

I miss and love Frankie Stair, will be missed and never forgotten!

Heartache

My heart aches everyday. I am struggling so much with this miscarriage that I just had a month ago. Everyone around me is getting pregnant, which bothers be soooo much. I am not mad at any of them but I wish people would take in to consideration of what they type or say to me knowing that I am having major problems, I am not going to ignore them or anything but I am fasting from FB and Myspace. Maybe by the time I get back on there the people will have it out of their systems about the babies. Maybe by then I will be pregnant, and yes I will be off that long. I may even give my account up on both sites, so I dont have to worry about it anymore, call it copping out or just plain rude but it helps me deal with my struggles and the things that are hurting me.

I want to wait on God more than anything but it is so freaking hard. I am so impatient it isnt funny. I want a 2nd baby more than I want to go to school and get an education. I love children and it hurts to see and hear Jaden ask me to give her a little brother or sister. I want to do that more than anything and I would be if my child wasnt taken from me. Sometimes I feel that the baby was ripped from my being. I get mad at God, alot when I think about that. I wonder daily why anyone woman must go through what I went through, it is the worst feeling and thought I have ever gone through, it has messed me up physically and mentally.

Dont get me wrong I love my daughter more than anything but I want to have a baby with my husband and have a family and live in a nice house and grow old knowing that my children are godly christian kids and people. I would do anything for my daughter, she is my life and it is the most wonderful feeling of love. No one and I mean no man or woman could ever make me not love her with all my life, I would die for her in a heart beat. If I had to choose between my daughter or husband, I would honestly choose my daughter, she is my life and world!

I wish all the woman around me that are pregnant all the best and the world. I know some of them struggled to get where they are at, and I pray that they will not have to go through all the stuff they have already gone through again. I pray for them daily, that nothing goes wrong with their pregnancy. I also pray for the woman I know that are struggling with not having any kids and want them more then anything. God said he wanted us to multiply and I know He will bless us all, but I know some of us are struggling with WAITING.