Xmas Eve and More

I have been extremely busy this week, getting things in order to have my mommy and sister come on Xmas Eve. I am so excited and couldnt ask for a better Holiday! God works in awesome ways. This week, we met at Joel's parents and celebrated Xmas with them on Monday since they were leaving to go away for the holiday, so happy Miss Debbie gets to spend time with her family. Then Wednesday night was the church Xmas party, and I made sausage balls. They were really good! We didnt stay long at the party because Joel had to get up really early to finish his Xmas shopping and to go to work.
We love the holidays, even though they can keep us really busy!
Now I am waiting to go to Mimi's on Xmas for lunch/dinner! We are suppose to have Sri Lankan food! My Xmas this year will be different but fun and excited! I will be spending time with my sister-in-law and her family, but that will be great!

Santa is coming to my house this year, I have been a good girl( LOL)!

Jaden got 6 gifts, but one of them cost me 50, but she will be able to use until she is 8yr old.

I have been praying and spending time with the Lord. I know He will bless me with the things my heart truly desires! God is amazing and wonderful! He deserves all praise and glory!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Pondering

Well I have been pondering a few things going on in my life lately and I have been praying alot more then I have ever prayed.

There is 1 week until Christmas and I am excited and cant wait. Jaden will love all her gifts!
Joel wants to have a Christmas eve party but I really dont want to because there is not enough time to plan for it. But he will figure that out for himelself when no one shows up. lol!

My cycle was weird this month, but oh well. Hopefully next month it will be better or it doesnt come..lol!

I have an amazing friend, that I didnt expect to be so close to and feel a specail bond with, but I do. She has helped me out with alot of things that I have been going through, and she made me feel special when I was going through a rough spot in my life. And she still continues to be there for me. I am grateful; to have someone like her. God has blessed her with that ability and she does a wonderful thing when she uses her gift.
I pray and ask God to continue to bless her and and her family so that they may beable to continue their blessing on someone else.

Still I am looking for a twin size bed, for Jaden for Christmas and trying to get her a new car seat since the one she has is falling apart and is to small for her. I need a booster seat( thats what it is called) they are about 40 at walmart and more expensive at kmart. Why do things like that cost so much when half the time the kids are not in them very long. it is the same with shoes for them, they cost as much as mine do but they will only wear them for maybe a month or two and then you have to buy new ones again, unless me I can buy a pair and they will last because my feet and I are done growing..lol!
Most of all Jaden needs more clothes then toys, I went through her toys and I am giving 4 big boxes to Salvation Army, and she still have 2 boxes full for herself, NO MORE TOYS!

Man I wish this rain would just go away! I want SNOW!

Not Yet

Well I thought I might have been pregnant, but it turns out that my cycle was just messed up.
I bled brown blood for 4 days and then on the 4th night it turned red.

I was okay with it, because I didnt get to worked up about it but I really wish I were.

I know that the Lord has something in store for me, I just need to wait.

I really want a baby before and I mean I want to have already have the baby before next year ends.

I havent felt well for the past few weeks and I dont know why.

Today is cold and I am sweating my butt off. But I am cold..why?

I am praying that things work out for the best and that I get to go see my little sister graduate in may. That would mean I get to go all the way to Indiana to my home. I miss it so much!

Lord Jesus, I am tired of crying over the child that I lost, I know she/he is in better place and is happy. I want to be happy too. I know that I will one day get to hold them in my arms and tell them how much I love them so much! You know my desires and my needs. Thank you for blessing my family and friends and I ask that you continue to bless us. You are worthy of all praise and glory. You are the Lord Almighty. In your name, Amen!

Why Not

Why not me, why not? What did I do or what didnt I do?

I am confused, I want a baby with my husband more than anything. Since my miscarriage, i have been mourning over what I dont have. It kills me to read facebook because half my friends are pregnant.

I keep praying that the Lord would bless us with a baby soon, I really wanted to get pregnant before the end of the year, so I guess I will continue to pray and ask the Lord. I know He is faithful, I am just a very impatient person. I need to see results ASAP. I need to work on that too.

Life in General

Well, I have been doing well.

Thanksgiving just past and I had a great time spending time with family. Nana stayed at my house and it was a wonderful experience to get to know her and make her welcome and comfortable. Got up really early on Black friday to go shopping with Marielle, heather and kristen, we had a great time. We ate at Starbucks for breakfast!!

Other then that I havent been feeling 100%. I havent been able to eat much without feeling sick.

Of course my husband thinks I am prego but I dont know. I want to be but I am terrified of being prego. I dont want to have to go through a miscarriage again and I wouldnt want any woman go through that. It was one of the hardest things I have ever gone through.

I have been praying that the Lord will bless us with another child but also give my heart the ease of being prego. I am also praying for the woman in my life that want to get pregnant, even if they dont want me too. God is good and knows when it is time and no matter when it happens it is always a blessing.