Better days.

This week has been better. I have been dng simple school work with jaden. I ordered jaden's nutcracker costume today! She is so excited, but sad that she will be missing ballet next week. God has been speaking to my alot lately and I have been doing my best to obey him in all things that I do. It makes me feel good to know that when I obey God, good things are always to follow! Sorry for short blog but maybe later I will make it longer or just do another one! Thank you to all that have been praying for me.

Wishes....

As I sit and have my quiet time for myself, I wish that I knew what my calling was. For some reason I can't hear God tell me what it is. I know I do so much and maybe that us why I haven't heard God tell me what my calling is in life. As of now I am trying to work on becoming a better wife and mother to my children. I guess maybe one day I will know my calling. I do know that I don't believe my calling is to teach my daughter, but I could be wrong. And I am talking about school. Plese pray with me about my situation. I really need it. I am struggling so much it is breaking me down, people may not see it because I try to hide it. I don't want people to feel sorry for me.

God is good!

Let me tell you how I know God is so good. The last couple of days every time I went potty(only pee) my lower stomach had shooting pain, so bad I would clench and stop peeing. I couldn't figure out what was wrong so I called my mother in law and asked her if she knew but she didn't know, but she prayed for me. Well I woke up this morning and I have not had any problem. God healed me! But last night while laying in bed, God told me that the devil was causing my pain be causes I was standing firm for the healing of my father in law so the devil thought he could get me to stop standing firm in my believing, well I showed him because I didn't, I am still standing firm. I know that my God can do anything and everything, He will heal my father in law. With God at my side I can do all things! Thank you DD for praying for me. God is so good! I will shout it from the roof tops!

Baby Fever

I knew I would feel this way when the time came, but I have been feeling this way since my son was about 5months old. I want another baby! I want to obey God and multiply. But as bad as I want to have another baby I feel bad because there are so many friends and family around me that are wanting a baby more then I need one. I pray for them daily that God will bless them with a bundle of joy. There is no better feeling then to feel your baby kick and then to get to hold them and see their beautiful face. Knowing that you and your husband have made this child a nd that God had guided you through the pregnancy that most women might say was the worst thing ever but it was a gift from God and God knows all that you can handle and he didnt give you anything you couldn't. With all the sickness and pain, I would go through it again and again, knowing that God has blessed me and I love the feeling knowing that I am used to multiply and raise my children to worship and honor God the way I am suppose to. I now I may fail at it some days but my kids know that the ultimate one is God, He comes before everything and anything and then after that everything will fall into place. As of right now I want my womb to be full of Joy! I now God will bless me when it is the right time. I believe and I know!

Not so good mom

I am feeling like a not so good mom, it has been over a week since I have done any school with Jaden. I am not sure what to do next, I can't come up with everything and then when I do reshearch online I end up crying and getting frustrated and giving up. I hate feeling like a failure. I have so much on my plate that I just can't do all that I want to do. I know I have support from a few women closer to me but sometimes I feel that is not enough to have support. I also know that I can rely on Jesus to get me through my trials but it still doesn't make me feel better that I ant do something. She is my daughter and I should be able to do this but I just CANT. Not only am I struggling with that but I am also struggling with my son. I love breastfeeding him but I feel that he is always attached to me and I can't get anything done. I do not and will not do the whole cry it out thing because it dididnt work with my daughter she would just make her self sick and throw up. I will not go through that again. I just really need help and lots of prayer.