Self esteem vs self respect

Self- esteem brings... 1) happiness( which is fleeting) 2) greed 3) arrogance 4) insecurity 5) discontentment 6) futility 7) self centeredness 8) ill-mannered Self-respect brings 1) joy( which is lasting) 2) gratitude 3) humility 4) confidence 5) contentment 6) perseverance 7) other- centeredness 8) well- mannered Which do you teach your child or which do you want to teach your child(ren)? Reality check Answer these questions 1) which category best describes your current parenting style? * befriending your kids * letting your kids make their own decisions * never refusing your children anything * training your children's hearts 2) do you allow your children to get away with little things that may be disrespectful? 3) what have you tried to develop in your children? * self respect * self esteem 4) has your parenting style reaped the desired results? 5) how are your children's manners reflected in their behavior? * in school * at home * public 6) which is more important to you, that your children...? * be number one * do their best 7) do you insist that your children say the following? * yes and no sir and ma'am * may I get your chair * excuse me * I'm sorry 8) are you praying regularly for wisdom to raise your childrentobe respectful? Excerpt from Raising respectful children in a disrespectful world by Jill rigby Reading the first chapter there were many things that stood out to me. I know I grew up with people telling me that all I needed in life was a really good self esteem. Now thinking about it I was always conceited and sometimes til this day I still am. I don not want my children to grow up that way I do want them to have a good self esteem and feel good about them self but most of all I want them to have self respect.

When?

I yearn to own my own home. When I see others able to buy or look at homes it makes me cry. I am jealous, and I know I shouldn't be but it is hard because some of the people that I know that are looking at homes or that buy a home don't have anything or they are not obeying the lord in anyway. I feel that the things I do I do for nothing because I have nothing. I live in a home that is falling apart, the carpet is ripping and coming apart. I am trying to make the home now something I can be proud of living in but it just isn't happening. I really want a home that I can call "my own" and something I am proud of. I know this probably sounds selfish and unsatisfied but I have always thought of myself living in something better then what I have always lived in. All the homes I have lived in have been the same way my house is now. I want better for my kids and for me and my husband. Please pray for me.

5 Years!

Omg, I can't believe that I have been married to the man of my dreams for 5 years already! It doesn't seem like it has been that long. I love him more today then I loved him when I said "I do"! God has blessed me so much! I have an awesome family and amazing husband!

Better days.

This week has been better. I have been dng simple school work with jaden. I ordered jaden's nutcracker costume today! She is so excited, but sad that she will be missing ballet next week. God has been speaking to my alot lately and I have been doing my best to obey him in all things that I do. It makes me feel good to know that when I obey God, good things are always to follow! Sorry for short blog but maybe later I will make it longer or just do another one! Thank you to all that have been praying for me.

Wishes....

As I sit and have my quiet time for myself, I wish that I knew what my calling was. For some reason I can't hear God tell me what it is. I know I do so much and maybe that us why I haven't heard God tell me what my calling is in life. As of now I am trying to work on becoming a better wife and mother to my children. I guess maybe one day I will know my calling. I do know that I don't believe my calling is to teach my daughter, but I could be wrong. And I am talking about school. Plese pray with me about my situation. I really need it. I am struggling so much it is breaking me down, people may not see it because I try to hide it. I don't want people to feel sorry for me.

God is good!

Let me tell you how I know God is so good. The last couple of days every time I went potty(only pee) my lower stomach had shooting pain, so bad I would clench and stop peeing. I couldn't figure out what was wrong so I called my mother in law and asked her if she knew but she didn't know, but she prayed for me. Well I woke up this morning and I have not had any problem. God healed me! But last night while laying in bed, God told me that the devil was causing my pain be causes I was standing firm for the healing of my father in law so the devil thought he could get me to stop standing firm in my believing, well I showed him because I didn't, I am still standing firm. I know that my God can do anything and everything, He will heal my father in law. With God at my side I can do all things! Thank you DD for praying for me. God is so good! I will shout it from the roof tops!

Baby Fever

I knew I would feel this way when the time came, but I have been feeling this way since my son was about 5months old. I want another baby! I want to obey God and multiply. But as bad as I want to have another baby I feel bad because there are so many friends and family around me that are wanting a baby more then I need one. I pray for them daily that God will bless them with a bundle of joy. There is no better feeling then to feel your baby kick and then to get to hold them and see their beautiful face. Knowing that you and your husband have made this child a nd that God had guided you through the pregnancy that most women might say was the worst thing ever but it was a gift from God and God knows all that you can handle and he didnt give you anything you couldn't. With all the sickness and pain, I would go through it again and again, knowing that God has blessed me and I love the feeling knowing that I am used to multiply and raise my children to worship and honor God the way I am suppose to. I now I may fail at it some days but my kids know that the ultimate one is God, He comes before everything and anything and then after that everything will fall into place. As of right now I want my womb to be full of Joy! I now God will bless me when it is the right time. I believe and I know!

Not so good mom

I am feeling like a not so good mom, it has been over a week since I have done any school with Jaden. I am not sure what to do next, I can't come up with everything and then when I do reshearch online I end up crying and getting frustrated and giving up. I hate feeling like a failure. I have so much on my plate that I just can't do all that I want to do. I know I have support from a few women closer to me but sometimes I feel that is not enough to have support. I also know that I can rely on Jesus to get me through my trials but it still doesn't make me feel better that I ant do something. She is my daughter and I should be able to do this but I just CANT. Not only am I struggling with that but I am also struggling with my son. I love breastfeeding him but I feel that he is always attached to me and I can't get anything done. I do not and will not do the whole cry it out thing because it dididnt work with my daughter she would just make her self sick and throw up. I will not go through that again. I just really need help and lots of prayer.

USA

Well we finished talking about the USA. jaden learned a few things about it, I didn't go all in deep with her since she is only 5!

She knows....
How many stars and why
The flower
The bird
The tree
And the nickname of the flag.

We are still working on say the pledge, we say it at the beginning of class after we say our prayer for the start of the day.
We are going to continue working on the national anthem. That is going to take awhile, but I am ready for her to learn it so she can sing it for her DD and friends.

She learned her bible verse Ps 117:2
Now hopefully she can say it for others without getting so emotional, like she has been. She really only gets really emotional when daddy is around. I haven't figured out why because he doesn't get mad at her if she messes up because we know messing up is part of life.

She worked on e letter F, she didn't fairly well, but she slacks off when I have her write them, she does good the first couple ones but then it is sloppy and out of the lines. Then she starts writing other things instead. I have tried to split it up but that doesn't work either. So I have to figure out a way for her to learn to write her letters and have fun doing it so that she won't slack off.

We made a little booklet of the things she learned about the USA! She colored the flag, bird, flower, tree, and a picture of kids saying the pledge. Then we glued/ taped them on construction paper and made a book!

It is starting to get harder trying to come up with things for her to learn since I don't have a curriculum. I am just throwing things out there but I know she should be doing other things. Then I even think will any of the stuff I do with her be accepted.
Sometimes I wish I could just send her to school, that way I know she will be getting the things that are accepted to ,ove on the the next grade when it is time.
It may even help her to be around other kids seeing what they are doing.

Blessed

Jesus has blessed me so much. The last few months have got me thinking about how much I have been blessed in the past 5yrs. I have come up with a huge list but I think I am going to share the ones that are close and dear to my heart.

First off I have been blessed with a husband that has taken the responsibility of taking care of our daughter that is not his biologicly his..i know i spelled that wrong. I knew I loved Joel the moment I held his hand. He is an amazing man of God. He struggles in some areas but HEY dont we all.?

Another thing is I have been blessed with 3 children even though one of them can not be here with me. I know she is doing great, being with the one MAN any girl can trust, OUR HEAVENLY FATHER! She is well taken care of. We miss you Frankie Stair!

I have also been blessed with an amzing extended family. We may not all get along all the time but I know if I truley needed anyone of them that they would be there for me in a minute.

I also have amazing friends. I am glad to have the one I do. No matter what I do, they are always there for me and I love being the one they call when they need someone to talk to. It makes me feel wanted and I love knowing they can trust me with the things on the heart that they may not be able to share with others. I also know that I can do the same with them.

Man, I think about it God amazing. He has blessed me abundently with so many things, and some things I didnt even realize as blessings. I thank Him daily for the blessing I have and to the ones that will be coming in the future.

I sing Joyfully to Him.
I sing His glory!
I offer Him my praise.
There is no other to give me praise too!

My life is complete with God as my #1!

Jaden's First Ballet Day 8/4/11

She had such a wonderful time, she was so excited about class, that she asked me just about every 20minutes if it was time. LOL! She is doing the same thing today too!!

She is so excited that she might be in the nutcracker this year.

She wants a dance jacket and bag!

Stressful

Wow, I have had the most stressful week ever, I was 8 days late before PMS hit me..lol! Never been late unless I was pregnant so I freaked about that. But God has a plan is all I kept telling myself.

School started off well but I am jusy having a hard time coming up with things to do with her and finding the time to even teach her.

First Day of Homeschool!

Well I finished Jadens first of homeschool. She had so much fun.

we prayed, had scripture of the day, said  the pledge of alligance

The we drew the United States Flag
Learned thing about such as US flower, bird, song, motto and tree.

We also learned the letter Cc!

She did so good. There were a couple things I had to get on to her about, she doesnt like to sit still at all.

We also had snack time and had recess out side with the water hoes.

It doesnt seem like alot of work but it was. We had a blast.

cant wait until tomrrow to start another day.

First Lesson...prepared and ready!

Jadens first lesson plan is done and ready thanks to help from DD! We will be working on Flags( American, and Georgia).

Now the only thing I need to do is finish getting all my supplies for her to do all the activities I have planed to help her learn more and it will also be fun, because Jaden cant sit still for 5mins..lol!

I even have a list of things Jaden should know by the time the school year is over. I cant believe if she went to public school she would be in Kindergarten! My baby girl is growing up so fast, time has flashed before my eyes. Not only do I have 1 blessing I have 3, but one is my baby angel, who will always be missed.

The Lord is good!

Preparing

Wow, I am busy and have been for the last couple weeks. My list is a mile and half long..lol!
Jaden will be starting Ballet on Thursday and she is so excited, so I had to make sure I got all the things I needed to get her started since this is the first time she gets to be in Ballet, she is sooo ready. Finally got all the things for her.
I have to get things for school and I have slowly getting things together for that, we should be starting next week if I can get everything I need and get it all organized.
Then I am trying to get things together for the little birthday party the Knight are going to throw for baby Lorraine. Still trying to come up with the date for it, since they have plans too.
I still have to get the house organized, to do schooling and other activities.
Joel and I are going through our middle bedroom because we have been selling things on ebay for extra money.

Even though I am busy planning and cleaning and doing so many things, I would not change it at all. I love my life as a wife, mother, teacher, and daughter of God.

God has blessed me in so many ways I can not explain. It brings tears to my eyes knowing that He loves me so much that He overflows my cup everyday and He is always there!

I Do More!

I am so tired of people always asking what I do for a living and when I tell them that I am a stay at home, they always say thats great because that isnt a hard job at all. Well sorry to say YOU ARE WRONG! I feel that my job is harder then theirs. For instince, they may work 8-5 but I work 24/7, someone else may be taking care of their children while they are at work, I take care of mine and I teach my daughter school, their house may be cleaner then mine for the fact that they are not home all day, but I clean minute after minute and so what I have toys on the floor, dishes in the sink and dirty clothes on the floor. If you dont like the way my house looks you do not have to come over, my house looks like I have kids and people living here. I am the women god made me to be, my house is comfortable and welcoming. Io make my house look beautiful in my family's eyes. I dont care what you think!
So I believe being a stay at home mom, is harder and more challenging then a job outside the home. But I would not change my job status at all for anything in the world. I know at the end of the day I got to see my children grow physically and mentally and in the faith! I love my life and the people God has placed in my life! Being a stay at home mom is a rewarding thing.
Oh BTW my kids may not be perfect but let me tell you my kids are raised knowing God is the ultimate healer and they know God is the most important in their life.

Discontent

"I am disgusted with my life. Let me complain freely. I will speak in the bitterness of my soul."--Job 10:1 (NLT)

So this is my devotion for the day and it really go me thinking. It also made me realize things I didnt really want to realize.

So remember Goldilocks from the Three Bears, well she was discontent until the 3rd try, then it was "JUST RIGHT."
Now apply this to your life and ask yourself, how many times have you changed your furniture around in your living room or any other room, how many times have you colored your hair? How many purses are shoved in the back of a closet somewhere? Do you still like the clothes you bought 2 seasons ago??
There are so many things to ask yourself that this list could go on forever but you get what I am trying to say. We are all discontent in someway or another.

Will we ever find the "JUST RIGHT" in our lives? Probably not, but if you have reached the point in your life then that is awesome!

Another thing to ask yourself is...
1) What kind of things do we look for to satisfy the restlessness in our hearts?

A leech(GREED) has two daughters named, "GIMME" and "GIMME MORE."--Proverbs 30:15(MSG)

There are 4 things that will never be satisfied and they are..--Proverbs 30:16
1) Hell
2) A Barren Womb
3)Parched Land
4) Forest Fire


Digging a little deeper
* Ps 145:16
*Proverbs 30:8
*Proverbs 23:4
* Ecclesiastes 5:10

Ponder and Pray
*As you face the week ahead, take time to search your heart for discontentment. Ask the Spirit to bring to light the kinds of dissapointment that allow bitterness and anger to take root. To what have you been turning in order to satisfy the restlessness in your heart? Pray that you, like David, can discover how God's love can satisfy your heart.

OH MY Life

All I can say right now is that my life has changed so much. I do not know where to begin, and how to say it.

My relationship with my hubby seems to be changing, we dont have time for each other.

The kids take up all my time and when we do have time to be with each other, I am just exhausted. And I feel bad.

I know things will get better but it is just hard because we have never just been us, when we got married I already had my daughter.

We havent had a date night in over 7months, since our son as born. I dont really have anyone who can watch my kids or even if i could find someone no one has time.

The one person I know will watch them is not aloud to have them unless she comes here to see them.

Well Gonna stop now since the baby is awake, hopefully will finfish later.

6 months old

Oh my, my baby boy is a little over 6 months, He is getting so big.

He is standing all by himself. and he is crawling.

I am so happy to be his mother.