I sit here by myself at home while my husband is at work and I talk to my sisters in Indiana, or I see Leah's family talking about it in their status. I miss my home so much. I miss my family and friends that are there. I dont really have any friends down here but family and I want friends that I can hang our with. One of my good friends just had her baby boy and I wasnt there and I wanted to be there so bad. My heart aches to be home, but Joel wont move up there. BOOOHOO! I have been wanting to go visit my grandfathers grave and talk to him and let him know that I miss him more then anything in the world. I was so close to him. It will be 5 years since he has past in Sept. My heart breaks everytime I think about it or think about him. He was one man that I knew would always be there for me when I needed him most and now he is not here with me because God has taken him. I cry alot when I talk about him or realize that the anniversary of his death is coming soon. No one knows how it feels. I need him, I need to talk to him, I need to hear him say "I love you Ayla!" I want to tell him, that I am sorry for all the wrong that I did when I lived with him. I want to hug him! I miss the smell of his Eucalyptus back rub(lotion)!
I want to go home so much! I need to go home! Georgia is where I live but it will never be home for me.
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