Wonderment

Well alright where to begin. Lately everyone around me is getting pregnant, and thank the Lord. I am happy for all of them.

Heather(sister) 4 weeks

Leanna(friend) 8 weeks

Stephani(friend) 5 months

They will all be wonderful mothers again, since they all have one already. 

Heather has a 3 yr old boy

Leanna has a 9 month old little boy

Stephani has a 3 yr old girl

As I sit here and are being happy for them, I am also a little in wonderment, because they all told me that they really werent trying that just had sex. Well I have been doing that same thing with my husband of 3 yrs and nothing has happened yet. It does hurt a lot that it hasnt, because I want to have another one so bad. I pray to God all the time to bless Joel and I with another child. Sometimes I feel that God isnt answering my prayers because of something I did or didnt do or he just isnt listening to me. Well I feel that way alot. Maybe I havent grown enough in my faith, or maybe I feel like I am lying to myself. I have no clue, and I wish I did. I know several other women who are wanting have children and I also wonder if they ever feel that way I do sometimes when someone around them tells them that they are pregnant, or if it is just me. Or if they feel the same way about God answering their prayers. 

I have been told that I am jealous, I dont want to put it that way because I am not jealous, I am just a little sad and hurt that it hasnt happened to me. I know that Bible says we are not suppose to be jealous of others, so I try not to be jealous, but on occasion I do get that way, but not about this. I am extremely happy for all of the women around me that are getting pregnant. I cant wait until all their tummies get big so I can touch it!!!! 

thats all I have for now. Maybe another day I will have something entertaining to type about or not! It is only my mind wondering and getting in the way sometimes!